Divorce. Is. Devastating. Even for those of us doing the filing, or asking to end the relationship … or trying to rebuild after the BIG AFTER … we all experience it. Varying degrees of personal devastation.
Somewhere, you inevitably ask …
- Is there a 100 percent way of knowing if you should be doing this, if divorce is the right thing?
- How do you learn and get educated and simultaneously, not feel like a traitor?
- Where can you safely admit that your life is falling apart?
- And at the same time, learn how to maintain a strong front for the kids?
- You know you want to avoid court, so shouldn’t you do mediation? Do you have to rule out DIY? What is the cheapest way to get through this?
- How will things end up? How do you build a new life … and end the old one? What’s the sequence of events? What comes first? All at once?
- How will you survive to tell the tale of all of this when the money is freaking you out?
- How much of yourself do you leave behind, and which parts do you take with you?
“We’ve come a long way when it comes to the topic of Divorce. We have choices now. And we choose to be educated and prepared as the best means to making the best decisions.”
There is no pain-free way to unravel a dream that took us down an aisle, or led us to make a legal declaration to stay as a couple forever. There is a smart way. An educated way. And, a way to have a healthy, compassionate, free and enormous life afterward. But, there will be pain. For some, a great deal of pain. Especially if we choose to isolate ourselves.
Whether we’ve made the decision to divorce, or the decision has been thrust upon us (and we’ve been kicked in the gut), we are all required to plan for the process of divorce AND plan for what comes NEXT. And what comes AFTER.
Find your people
If you are dealing with divorce, joining a good, facilitated, online divorce support group can be one of the best gifts you give yourself. The right group can provide you with safety, connection, resources, convenience, lower costs, answers and the perspective you will need to navigate knowledgeably the daunting transition from married to (healthily) divorced.
If you are thinking about divorce or already “coping” with with it, the right divorce support group should provide an overview of what you must know about divorce — before you decide. And if you’re already divorcing, what you must know to stay healthy and strategic to your most critical goals.
Understanding what stage of divorce you are in — what is coming, and what you can and must NOT be doing — allows you to get organized & prepared (for whether you choose to divorce or not).
For those rebuilding their lives after divorce, the right, divorce recovery group connects you to your possibilities, the who you are becoming. In the company of other women, you learn how beginning again is celebrated, grieved, and more sweetly understood. And especially, why you must leverage The Pause.
Unless you’ve been divorced and experienced firsthand the journey, you can’t fathom this stage, the journey within this journey of divorce, or what happens AFTER.
There is no manual. For the healing.
Shame / SHām/ Noun 1. A loss of respect or esteem; dishonor. Verb 1. (of a person, action, or situation) make (someone) feel ashamed.
“Choice point: When we decide to dispel the shame of divorce our lives begin to take flight.”
“I can’t imagine going through this miserable, stressful and painful process without Annie’s Group. — a resource that offers an education: information and solace all while teaching you how to be ok in uncertainty. Most of all Annie’s Group is a respite from the isolation that a bad marriage and difficult divorce can bring.”
~ L.O., San Francisco
“… Annie’s Group taught me that I don’t have to stay isolated with my shame. My feelings are normal….”
~ G.N., New York City
“It’s powerful to at last feel understood in Paloma’s Group and to know that these women get it! They are going through the same thing as I. Our connection has ended any sense of isolation or alienation that, on and off, I’ve been struggling with ….”
~ S.L., New York City
Learn the 4 questions to ask when evaluating an online-divorce support group for women. And then, find one near you by searching Meetup.com or Google … or by considering one of ours. Because now, if you have internet and a computer or telephone, you can connect with SAS for Women’s virtual communities of sisters in an online divorce support group dedicated to the scary and ultimately (– believe it or not!) beautiful place of divorce and rebirth.
“…There’s a comfort in strangers, that is simply not possible with friends and family who are not themselves divorcing.”
~ T.Y., Annie’s Group Participant, New York City
“I was spinning before connecting with Annie’s Group. I wasn’t finding the right lawyer, I was emotionally flooding, I was mentally exhausted and financial fearful. Annie’s Group provided the education I critically needed so I could move forward in my separation, so I could voice my concerns and wants from a place of empowerment and not desperation!”
—Donna D., Santa Barbara
“Surrounded by Paloma’s Group, I felt I could honor a new sense of possibility in my life. And with the structure and private consultations provided by the class, I could put best practices into place to take care of me, and then get on with the juicy stuff — discovering more about the woman I really am — the woman I am embracing starting now!”
~ M.Z., Cleveland
The best divorce support groups provide its members a deeper knowing of oneself (what you need now, emotionally and practically), and the tangible structure you need to care for yourself and your family in proven, actionable ways. Look for more than the legal strategy.
You are a whole being. There’s more to divorce than the tactical.
Annie’s Group™: For women thinking about divorce or beginning the process. Each week will focus on a core theme followed by participants’ specific questions and challenges. You will gain insight and strategies from the experiences and questions of other women.
In Annie’s group you will …
Understand what stage of divorce you are in, what is coming, and what you can and cannot be doing now; this gives you perspective & improves clarity. You get organized & prepared as you learn … what you must know to decide … or how to move through it with smarts, integrity and compassion.
Location: Your safe/private space
Designed for: Women, contemplating or beginning the process of divorce
What you need: A telephone or laptop, a means to take notes, and a commitment to yourself
For details on the group, visit here
Prerequisites: A get-to-know-you session to discover if this divorce support group is right for you. Schedule here.
Paloma’s Group™: For newly independent women, post-divorce. A comprehensive blueprint for starting fresh. Over the course of 3 months, each class will focus on a core theme as you learn best practices for designing the life you deserve.
In Paloma’s Group you will …
- Learn the art of reinvention
- Unlock & rebuild, as you connect with other women to share experiences & report back
- Gain the energy, courage and clarity to move forward with grace and depth
Location: Your safe/private space
Designed for: Women. Rebuilding their lives after divorce
What you need: A telephone or laptop, a means to take notes, and a willingness to design your life
For details on the group, visit here
Prerequisites: A brief telephone share: you’ll tell us your (post-divorce) story and what your needs are right now, and together we’ll discuss Paloma. Schedule here.
Change the course of your life — AFTER DIVORCE!
Paloma’s Group™ Learning the Art of Reinvention.
For newly independent women, post-divorce. Meeting 1x per month over the course of 6 months, each live-coaching, virtual group-class builds on a core theme required to design a life you deserve. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore (and experience) how this remarkable group of post-divorce women will plan and act on creating a life they love.
We promise — whether you join us for Paloma or not — you’ll walk away from your complimentary coaching-session discovering a next step in your unique After Divorce journey.
“We choose not to do it alone.” ~ SAS for Women