GETTING A DIVORCE: MUST KNOW INFORMATION AND STRATEGIES

shoes on chain linkdi·vorce: The ending of a marriage by a legal process. (Otherwise known as death by a thousand protracted paper cuts.)

You are getting a divorce, this is happening.

One moment you are planning the divorce party, and the next, you are pulling the shades down as you think about slitting your wrists.

You suspect that there is something better on the other side of where you are, but what that might be is impossible to imagine, because the stress of needing answers and having to make decisions right now (not to mention faking it through the daily grind) keeps knocking you down. Everything and one is pushing you to the brink. When you are getting a divorce, there’s no spectating. You’re in it.

You’re in it, yet, you are not sure. You are not sure what the right decisions are, though you may have begun reaching out. Maybe you have crossed that threshold and met with a divorce lawyer, or you’ve opened up about your strained situation with your therapist. (Okay, maybe you haven’t gotten that far, but you have fallen to pieces on your best friend’s couch.) The point is somebody knows. Still, you feel confused. You’d have to be made of stone to not feel vulnerable and afraid. You didn’t go into this marriage thinking it would end this way.

And you realize now as you look ahead, you don’t know what else you don’t know.

But we promise, you will get through this. Armed with the right support you can and will get through this divorce. You will gain a new perspective, and yes, having overcome these challenges, there will be scars. We will not sugar coat it, but we can also tell you, the next chapter will be the sweeter, the wiser, the more self-aware for all you have conquered here.

Learn how you can pay for a divorce even if you think you cannot afford one, or how to prepare and what to expect if you end up going to court. Help your children understand you are getting a divorce. Or, consider why it might make sense for you to hire a divorce coach so you gain an education about the process and an overview of what to do in which sequence — legally, emotionally, practically, and even, maternally. Gaining an overview is a good idea before you put in motion anything important or commit to any one path. Throughout the process, too, staying tethered to support as decisions continue to arise and your emotions continue to be triggered ensures you stay focused on your most crucial goals. Having someone to consult and get feedback from (on what is normal, what is not, what are best practices?) gives you perspective and lessens the chance of you getting derailed, feeling isolated or spinning out. You’ll understand more of this as you keep reading and start connecting the dots.

For ultimately, choosing not to “do divorce” alone is what smart women do.

You deserve the relief of knowing your next move. We offer free, confidential consultations so that you can ask your questions and also find out more about SAS for Women. Whether we stay connected afterward or not, we guarantee you will hear specific feedback on your story and learn next steps for you and your life. If you’d like that, you can schedule your free 45-minute consultation here.

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