Jumpstart Your New Chapter: 10 Must Do’s for Life After Divorce
Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your story. You can start writing a new chapter by following these 10 must do’s for life after divorce. From creating a fresh start to regaining your confidence and self-esteem, you can make this time in your life positive. Don’t give up; you’re stronger than you know.
10 Must’ Do’s for Life After Divorce
1. Give Yourself Time to Grieve the Loss Of Your Marriage
Going through a divorce can be an emotionally draining experience for anyone. Feeling sad, angry, or scared is okay – these are all natural reactions to a monumental change in life. However, don’t rush your healing process. Instead, give yourself time to grieve the loss of your marriage, no matter how long it lasted or what led up to it.
Grieving is important to finding peace and acceptance in this recently changed circumstance. Allow yourself to experience the full spectrum of emotions once the divorce is finalized so you can gracefully move on and build a healthy, happy future.
2. Ask For Help from Friends and Family When You Need It.
Life after divorce is a difficult adjustment – one that can be made a bit manageable with the help of friends and family. It’s natural to feel unsure of how to rebuild your life, but reaching out to those closest to you can provide the support you need.
Don’t blame yourself for the divorce or bottle up your feelings; let your friends and family be there for you if needed. Whether you need a shoulder for a good cry or an ear to listen to when you’re feeling anxious, don’t hesitate to ask for comfort from the people who love you most. They’ll actually be more than happy to provide it.
3. Let Go of Anything That Reminds You Of Your Ex
After overcoming the emotional and financial challenges of divorce, it may be therapeutic to let go of anything that triggers painful memories of your Ex. This includes getting rid of pictures of your Ex and things they may have gifted you, redecorating your space, and clearing out any keepsakes from your relationship.
These steps may empower you to take back control and build a new identity for yourself. In addition, it may be the change you need to create a positive perception of yourself without being constantly reminded of the past.
However, don’t be hasty about your decision to get rid of property your Ex may have gifted you. For example, some individuals feel the need to get rid of their houses as part of the healing process. Should you choose this route, ensure you research various insurance quotes for homes and consult a professional before making such a big decision.
Make your space only about you and your journey ahead!
4. Take Control of Your Finances
Aside from the emotional damage your divorce may have caused, you cannot ignore the huge shift in financial responsibility. It is, therefore, important to wear your big girl pants and honestly assess your income and expenses to ensure you have enough money coming in and going out each month.
Creating a budget and sticking to it can be intimidating since you may have gotten used to living on two salaries during your marriage. Fortunately, there are many available resources that can help you develop a budget plan. Once you have created a financial plan, remain disciplined and stick to it.
Making minor adjustments throughout the year based on changing situations can help keep you on track toward achieving financial freedom.
5. Find a New Hobby or Activity That Brings You Joy
Taking up a hobby or activity that you enjoy can be a great way to cope while adjusting to life as a single person. Finding something you love doing, whether taking a yoga class or learning how to paint, can provide an avenue for expression and reflection.
It can also give you something positive to focus on so you don’t have time to wallow in negative thoughts and bring some joy back into your life.
Feel inspired by other women and their journeys. Check out “Starting Over After Divorce at 50: Five Stories on Finding Yourself.”
6. Seek Out Counseling or Therapy If You’re Struggling to Cope with the Emotions Associated with Divorce
Divorce can take a toll on your emotional well-being. If you find yourself struggling to cope with your emotions, counseling, coaching or therapy might be an avenue to consider as part of your healing process. You may be amazed at how relieved you may feel after speaking to somebody who is impartial and trained in navigating extremely emotional situations.
The right professional can offer invaluable advice, provide unique perspectives, and form a support system to help you become more resilient and prepared for the future.
7. Join A Support Group for Women Who Have Gone Through Divorce
Joining a support group specifically for women who, like you, are rebuilding after divorce can provide support and comfort as you navigate your new reality. In addition to sistershipp, these groups can offer practical solutions for navigating the most challenging situations, like living alone, going back to work, or giving meaning to your days.
With so much going on in your life post-divorce, connecting with other women in similar circumstances can provide necessary encouragement and inspiration during this time of transition.
Change the course of your life — AFTER DIVORCE. Join us, and like-minded women, for Paloma’s Group!
Our Unusual Divorce Recovery Group for Women.
8. Make Time for Daily Self Care
For most women going through a divorce, self-care is often the least of their worries. However, finding a balance between living and grieving during this high-stress period is important. One way to ease the numbing emotions that comes with divorce is to take time to take care of yourself.
Build your confidence. Read our unusual “100 Must Do’s for the Newly Divorced Independent Woman.”
To start, set aside ten minutes daily-whether in the shower or before bed – to relax and focus on yourself. This time should not include anything else other than resting – no distractions or obligations. Instead, ensure that it serves as a designated “you” time when you can take a few pages of your favorite book and savor each word or do anything you love.
9. Support Yourself with Positive Energy
Building a strong network of supportive friends is essential if you’re going through a rough period in your life after a divorce. Relying on family can be great, but true understanding and empathy may come from others who have been in your shoes.
Consider volunteering, or joining a meet-up group or a well-facilitated divorce support group for the stage you are in. In these networks you’ll find like-minded women with whom you can feel comfortable talking and engaging in activities. Whether that’s joining a book club or starting an exercise class together, go for it!
Regular social contact is invaluable as it will help you turn the page of your life and move forward, overcoming any lingering feelings of isolation or loneliness.
Commit to taking healing steps each day. Read our powerful, “46 Steps to Your Divorce Recovery: A Definition and A Guide.”
10. Focus On the Positive Aspects of Your Life
Although you may feel like your entire life has been turned upside down, it’s important to remember that this is just a chapter in your story and that you still have a future with many chapters ahead of you.
Don’t let difficult times define you as a person. Instead, focus on all the positive aspects of life. Pursue new hobbies, pick up an old passion, or take that holiday you’ve wanted to go on for years. Take control of your story and remind yourself that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are following it!
NOTES
Since 2012, SAS for Women has been entirely dedicated to the unexpected challenges women face while considering a divorce and navigating the divorce experience and its confusion afterward. SAS offers women six FREE months of email coaching, action plans, checklists and support strategies for you, and your future.
All of it sent discreetly to your in-box. Join our tribe and stay connected.
*We support same-sex marriages. For the sake of simplicity in this article, however, we refer to your spouse as your “husband” or a “he.”
