What is Palimony & Who Gets It?
Did you know that a partner in a relationship doesn’t have to be married to receive compensation if the relationship ends? They can sue for something called ‘palimony,’ depending on which US State they live in. The media coined the term “palimony” in the 1970s during a court case between actor Lee Marvin and his partner, Michelle Triola. Although the couple never married, Triola sued Marvin for monetary compensation when the relationship ended. ‘Palimony’ combines ‘pal’ (‘friend’) and ‘alimony’, a settlement sum one married partner requests from the other when a couple splits up.
Marriage Despite No Rings Being Attached
The case garnered media attention in 1977 when Triola sued Marvin, claiming he had promised to support her during her lifetime. She had adopted Marvin’s name, hence the case being called ‘Marvin versus Marvin’. The media frenzy was thanks to her celebrity attorney, Marvin Mitchelson, who used the term ‘palimony’ to describe the compensation she was suing for. This sum was equivalent to ‘maintenance’ or what is often known as alimony in a divorce.
Triola did not receive the compensation she requested, as, according to the California Court of Appeal, she couldn’t prove a contract existed between her and Lee Marvin. The Court determined that she only qualified for what she would have received as his “common-law wife.” This means her property was only what she brought with her when she and Marvin started living together, and what she had accumulated while they lived together.
What is Palimony?
Palimony is compensation one partner requests from another when their unmarried relationship ends. This compensation is only considered in civil cases. Sometimes, lawyers can receive compensation for clients despite no binding legal contract. This depends on where the couple lives, as palimony is not considered legal in all US states.
It’s important to have a legal contract or cohabitation agreement, whether you marry legally or not.
Couples who don’t marry legally are now more aware of the importance of signing a legal contract when they start living together. Without one, an unmarried couple cannot buy property together, own a joint bank account, or jointly insure their belongings.
The type of contract they sign as an unmarried couple is similar to a prenuptial agreement compiled by a couple before they marry. With this type of contract, the unmarried couple can stipulate which assets they will share, how their children will be looked after should they no longer live together, and what assets they can retain if they split up.
What is Palimony & Who Gets It?
Palimony is the financial compensation from one’s Ex-partner at the dissolution of an unmarried relationship. The compensation could be financial or include assets and property. This is similar to alimony requested by one partner during a legal divorce but is not always considered legal.
Palimony is considered legal depending on which US State you live in. Courts in those states that accept palimony as legal will only consider this compensation if the couple has a valid written or oral agreement. The court will consider this case a dispute over a contract agreement, not a divorce issue.
Depending on each state, palimony is considered differently, so it’s important to research this before you sue.
States have different considerations about how long the couple has lived together, and their financial arrangements. Courts in certain states consider what partners have promised one another, whether they have any written agreements or not, whether one partner has given up employment to look after children, and any other sacrifices a partner may have made, for instance, financing a partner who is studying, and whether the partners have a difference in income.
Another fact to consider regarding palimony is taxes. Consider reading this piece discussing if alimony is taxable to understand the basics. And if you are raising your children from home, you will want to investigate if Stay-at-Home Moms get alimony.
Which States Accept Palimony?
According to Wikipedia, one of only a few sites to list the 12 states using palimony since 2000, the list of states includes California, Colorado, Florida (although The State of Florida doesn’t consider palimony legal), Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Maryland, Michigan, Nevada, New York, South Carolina and Washington (legalized palimony in 2007). New Jersey considered palimony legal until 2010.
Few US states recognize Common-Law marriage. Only 10 states consider marriage legal if no official ceremony took place. These states are Colorado, DC, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah.
Check out, “My Husband Destroyed Me Emotionally.”
Who May Receive Palimony?
I am giving you an example of an unmarried couple living together, where the partner suing for palimony would receive it – if the court accepted palimony as legal.
I’ll take myself as the example of the suing partner. If I had not legally married my Ex, I would be a likely candidate to receive palimony.
My partner and I had one daughter, aged 4. We lived together for 15 years.
I earned considerably less than my Ex, about one-third of his take-home income. My monthly salary went toward groceries, clothing for myself and my daughter, entertainment, and other necessities. Additionally, I covered fees for her private nursery school and ensured she had everything she needed. At the time, I was also paying off and maintaining a car, and I had a debit order for health insurance for the two of us.
Financial Situation After Separation
When we separated, I had little money in my bank account and no savings or assets, except for my car and a computer. My Ex had around $200,000 in his bank account, a car, an expensive bicycle, and savings. The house was also purchased in his name and he paid for the mortgage, a personal vehicle, and insurance (home and medical).
We were legally married with a contract, so, my attorney compared our earnings and bank accounts. As I had so much less than my partner, the divorce agreement included 50% of the value of the house, monthly maintenance for my daughter, and monthly payment of 50% of her education until she was 18.
These are South African laws regarding ‘common law marriages’. These would be different if I had lived in the US. In that case, I would not have received any compensation unless I lived in a state that considers palimony legal.
Conclusion: How to File A Palimony Suit
If a partner wishes to file a palimony suit, they may file a petition with the court in the location where they live “to enforce an intercouple promise”. Both partners can hire an attorney as representation. Remember: Almost always, legal counsel is highly recommended. Prepare your questions to ask a divorce attorney at a consultation so you are informed and empowered.
NOTES
Sharon Preston is a writer and editor. She has edited numerous lifestyle magazines and ghostwritten several books. She lives in a cottage in Johannesburg, South Africa with her two cats. You can connect with Sharon here: sharpreston1234@gmail.com
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*We support same-sex marriages. For the sake of simplicity in this article, however, we refer to your spouse as your “husband” or a “he.”
