How can you help your children cope with divorce or even, separation?
There are many factors that determine the long-term effects of divorce on children. The quality of the relationships among family members has a significant impact on whether or not these long-term effects are damaging.
What we know is that when you focus on creating and maintaining a low conflict environment, kids stand the best chance of growing into healthy, thriving adults. Consider printing the list below and taping it to the inside of your bathroom mirror. The “Bill of Rights for Children Whose Parents are Separated or Divorced” was created through the work of Jill Greenstein, a psychologist at Putnam Valley Elementary School near New York City in 1997. Greenstein involved a group of students, known as the “Banana Splits” to come up with advice for parents and children going through divorce. Read this list from time to time to remind you of all the little and large things that must be done to ensure your children’s well being.
The Bill Of Rights for Children Whose Parents are Separated or Divorced
- The right not to be asked to “choose sides” between their parents.
- The right not to be told the details of bitter or nasty legal proceedings going on between their parents.
- The right not to be told “bad things” about the other parent’s personality or character or behavior.
- The right to privacy when talking to either parent on the telephone.
- The right not to be cross-examined by one parent after visiting the other parent.
- The right not to be asked to be a messenger from one parent to the other.
- The right not to be asked by one parent to tell the other parent untruths.
- The right not to be used as a confidant regarding the legal proceedings between the parents.
- The right to express feelings, whatever these feelings may be.
- The right to choose not to express certain feelings.
- The right to be protected from parental warfare.
- The right not to be made to feel guilty for loving both parents.