The Best Books on Divorce for Women

I hadn’t read books on divorce when I divorced my Ex. I’m sorry I didn’t read any  –  books showing how to solve problems related to dissolving your marriage and looking after your kids’ best interests. Perhaps I’d have coped better if I had, or maybe I would have looked at my circumstances differently. I may have felt less confused, lost, or in two minds if I’d known how others found the experience and what they did to get through it. In hindsight, with so much knowledge and assistance readily available, I was silly not to take advantage of what was on offer.

So, I’ve compiled a list of some of the most helpful books to get you through this ordeal. If you’re contemplating ending your marriage, or wishing you could, perhaps it would be a good idea to take note of some of these best books on divorce for women.

Best Books on Divorce if You Are Considering It

A breakup is never easy, so preparing for the ordeal or learning how to cope with it just makes sense.  One popular book that will help you get through the worst if you’re considering divorce, is The Breakup Bible: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce by Rachel Sussman. A psychotherapist, Sussman offers advice and hope to women to help them deal with the inevitable pain of a breakup. She developed a survival process that involves three stages – healing, understanding, and transforming. The book includes success stories from women who have gone through the process and come out empowered on the other side.  I always like reading about first-hand experiences myself.

Susan J. Elliott’s book, Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, takes healing one step further. She offers practical solutions for women overcoming the end of their marriage and helps them regain their confidence and prepare for new relationships. Elliott, a New Yorker, author and lawyer created a popular blog based on the book; through it, she has assisted many women in healing. She teaches how to work through grief, disengage, and break the pattern of failed relationships.

Best Books on Divorce if You Are Dealing With It

Rising Strong by Brené Brown is a groundbreaking book. Brown has done extensive work helping women overcome vulnerability and shame during the divorce process. In the book, she shows us how to take control of our lives and get what we want. Her extensive research covers people in every sphere of life, from divorced moms and business leaders to creatives and military personnel. She tells their stories, how they struggled, and how brave they were as they picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and started over. Rising strong after falling doesn’t mean the end – Brown shows us how this can be the start of a new beginning. The author is also known for her documentary series, Atlas of the Heart.

Check out this SAS article, if you are looking for a quick list of “Must Do’s After Divorce”.

Another great book to help you through the recovery process is Conscious Uncoupling by Katherine Woodward Thomas, which offers readers a guide with ‘5 Steps to Living Happily Ever After’. Thomas, an author, created the method of ‘conscious uncoupling’ that gives readers valuable skills and tools to take them through the divorce journey. By the end of the book, you’ll know how to end your relationship “with mutual respect, kindness, and caring”. After all, you shouldn’t start your new life with bitterness. Your new beginning should be just that: an opportunity to start afresh with a great attitude. (I know, try telling that to your Soon-to-Be-Ex.)

One of the Best Books on Life After Divorce

Republished in 2022, the bestseller, Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, has assisted millions of people in understanding the meaning of codependency, often the cause of a destructive marriage. Codependency is a concept where one partner loses themselves to assist another. The book helps them regain their sense of self by explaining that we cannot change anybody, only ourselves. By understanding this, and putting ourselves first as we begin living alone after divorce, we can begin to heal. The book includes ways to overcome codependency, plus success stories and tools to help break this pattern of a toxic marriage or relationship and create healthy boundaries. The new, revised edition includes a section on trauma and anxiety.

Best Books on Divorce With Parenting Advice

Researcher, therapist, and divorce mediator Robert Emery PhD compiled his 25 years of experience and knowledge into the resourceful book, The Truth About Children & Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You & Your Children Can Thrive. It’s hard enough handling a divorce as an adult, but when you’re a parent, your journey is far more challenging. Parents want their children to traverse this traumatic experience without suffering, and Dr Emery explains how to do this. His expert, compassionate advice is hopeful and realistic; it’s a great tool to use as you and your little ones travel this difficult journey together. Yes, even if you are coparenting with a narcissist.

Another powerful tool for helping children overcome their parents’ divorce is Putting Children First, by renowned global authority, Dr JoAnne Pedro-Carroll. Backed up by extensive research, her positive book provides proven strategies for parents to help their kids survive and thrive during their parents’ tumultuous marriage breakup. Those of you wishing to keep your children’s emotional health intact and make them resilient and confident should read this book.

Just One More of the Best Books on Divorce…

The best-selling book, Women Who Run with the Wolves, by Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estés has been around since I was in the process of divorce, a quarter of a century ago. It was the book that started my journey towards independence, which is why I wanted to include it here. In those days, women were still learning to voice their independence and battle for equality in the workplace with men. Quite lyrical and spiritual, the book describes how special we are, and how we need to embrace this uniqueness.

Visit here for 35 more suggestions of the best books on divorce for women.

Conclusion

These days, it’s much easier to take control of your life and ‘run with the wolves’. But there’s still a lot you can learn from the books, which all teach you how to stand on your own feet, be brave, and dare to try.

NOTES

Sharon Preston is a writer and editor. She has edited numerous lifestyle magazines and ghostwritten several books. She lives in a cottage in Johannesburg, South Africa with her two cats. You can connect with Sharon here: sharpreston1234@gmail.com

 

Since 2012, smart women around the world have chosen SAS for Women to partner with them through the emotional, financial, and oftentimes complicated experience of breaking up and reinventing. 

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Whether you are wondering what your life choices are, thinking about divorce, or coping with it, choose to acknowledge your vulnerability and learn from others. Choose not to go it alone.

 

*We support same-sex marriages. For the sake of simplicity in this article, however, we refer to your spouse as your “husband” or a “he.”