What’s a Divorce Party? And Should You Have One?
Your wedding day is often envisioned as one of the happiest moments in your life, a day filled with love, joy, and promises for the future. Yet, despite the vows exchanged and the dreams shared, the reality of divorce may unexpectedly enter your life later on. In contrast to a wedding, a divorce can be (but not always) one of the most challenging and sorrowful experiences you’ll ever face, leaving you feeling alone and marginalized. During such difficult times, surrounding yourself with those who care about you can be invaluable.
Instead of dwelling on the sadness and loss, many women are choosing to embrace their newfound freedom and celebrate their fresh start. In recent years, divorce parties have emerged as a popular way for some to reclaim their identity and acknowledge their resilience. A divorce party is an event held to mark the end of a marriage or long-term relationship. Many people plan divorce parties to bring closure to their marriage in an empowering way and to be surrounded by supportive friends and family.
This article will explore the various aspects involved in planning a divorce party and highlight the compelling reasons why such a celebration can be empowering and healing.
What’s the Purpose of a Divorce Party?
A divorce party serves as a gathering to bring your loved ones together and mark a significant milestone in your life. Just as they came together to celebrate your wedding, it makes sense for them to join in celebrating your newfound singlehood. The primary purpose of a divorce party is to foster a sense of community during this challenging transition. However, this celebration should not be a time of sadness; instead, it should serve as a testament to self-love, forgiveness, and personal growth. While the focus should not be on your ex, it should be a time to honor, empower, and embrace your new journey.
It’s perfectly acceptable to make this party all about you and indulge in a little self-care.
Choosing A Theme
Every party needs a theme, and your divorce party should be no exception. Selecting a theme will set the tone you desire for your celebration. Get creative and choose a theme that reflects your interests, values, and humor. Will it be a “Breakup Bash,” where you commemorate the end of your relationship with playful banners boasting slogans like “Happily Divorced” or “The End of an Error”? Alternatively, consider an “Unwedding Reception,” a playful twist on traditional wedding elements such as white dresses, flower arrangements, or elaborate cakes. How might you rebel against those elements? Another idea is a “Self-Care Soiree,” focusing on pampering your inner divorcee diva with a relaxing spa day alongside your closest friends. Ultimately, the theme is entirely your choice, and meaning something to you specifically — should showcase your personality.
Is a divorce party simply too far-fetched for you?
Instead, do you wonder “How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Divorce?”
Guest List
Once you’ve settled on a theme, the next step is to create your guest list. Reflecting on the stress of creating seating charts and guest lists for your wedding, maybe approach your divorce party with a different mindset. Consider whether you envision a more intimate gathering with only your girlfriends, or your closest friends and family, or if you’re more inclined to invite a larger crowd. Regardless, prioritize inviting individuals who genuinely contribute positivity to your life and who will bring that energy to the atmosphere of your celebration. Remember, this party is a reflection of your new journey, so focus on inviting those who support and uplift you. Whether you opt for an intimate affair or a grand event, the key is to ensure that your guest list aligns with your vision for the occasion.
Venue/Location
The choice of venue for your divorce party depends on the theme and ambiance you wish to create. Whether you envision a lively weekend getaway with your closest circle, a cozy gathering at home or in a rustic cabin, or a grand celebration at an event space or restaurant, the choice is yours. That’s right no arguing with opinionated in-laws about the venue, or a stubbon soon-to-be Ex, the choice for everything, and this the most exciting part, is all YOURS.
If you need to reign in your ideas and focus, think about the activities you’d like to do at the event. For those leaning towards a weekend getaway, think about the experiences you are going for. If you crave outdoor adventures, consider destinations like national parks for hiking or popular beaches for relaxation. States such as Utah, Oregon, Florida, Vermont, or South Carolina offer diverse landscapes to cater to various preferences. For those seeking a vibrant city scene, New Orleans, Las Vegas, or Miami offer an array of nightlife (elegant to crazy) activities for you and your guests to enjoy.
Consider reading “How to Overcome the 6 Hardest Things About Life After Divorce.”
Venue Selection Tips
If a cozy night in appeals to you, consider booking an Airbnb, a cabin, or a resort location. Be sure to do your research on venues that guarantee a safe and comfortable environment for you and your guests. You could also transform your own living room into a warm and inviting space for an intimate gathering, feathering it with large pillows, soft blankets, and soft lighting or warm tones to create a special atmosphere.
For larger-scale events, researching suitable event spaces or venues that accommodate your desired guest count is a crucial undertaking. Perhaps your friends can help you? Whether you have a preferred restaurant, lounge, or club, or if you’re open to suggestions, consulting with friends, family, or even hiring a party planner can provide valuable insights and assistance in decision-making. Ultimately, factors such as your theme, budget, and logistical considerations should guide your venue selection.
Remember, celebrating your new beginning doesn’t require a large budget. All you need is a creative spirit and a supportive circle of family and friends to help you commemorate this major milestone in your life.
Decorations and Food
Once you’ve settled on your theme and secured your venue, it’s time to unleash your creativity with decorations. With the growing popularity of divorce parties, the options for decor are endless. From customized banners and centerpieces to playful balloons adorned with empowering slogans, there is no end to how you can make this divorce party yours.
When it comes to food, consider serving your favorite finger foods or indulging in dishes you couldn’t enjoy during your marriage. Maybe your Ex was allergic to shellfish? Then you might have a surf and turf theme party, where there’s shrimp galore and oysters or Lobster Newburg. Let your menu reflect your tastes and preferences, and don’t be afraid to have fun with it.
You may be reading this post because you need a distraction from what you are dealing with right now. If it sounds right, check out “7 Must Know’s When Divorcing a Narcissist.”
Capture the memories of this special occasion by hiring a photographer to document the festivities. Create a playlist filled with breakup anthems, female empowerment songs, or tunes that resonate with your chosen theme. Treat your celebration with the same attention to detail as a wedding, going all out to create a space that speaks to you and who you are. Make it both welcoming and festive.
Activities
How would you like to spend your celebration? Consider your interests and integrate them into your party plans. You could hire a psychic or fortune teller to add a touch of mystique and future-focus to your gathering.
If it’s a spa day, create a luxurious ambiance with soothing scents like lavender or eucalyptus, whether you’re visiting a spa or transforming your own space. Encourage guests to wear matching robes to make the theme real. Perhaps you’re intrigued by the idea of a class? Maybe wine-tasting or a mixology class. Or you and your inner circle might enjoy taking a cooking, pottery, or painting class together.
For more ideas that focus on you and your next chapter, check out “100 Must Do’s for the Newly Divorced Independent Woman.”
For a more relaxed affair, consider hosting a potluck featuring everyone’s, or just yours!, favorite comfort foods. Plan a movie night highlighting your favorite romantic comedies or any genre that brings you joy. Get creative with activities like karaoke, board games, or crafting divorce-themed games such as “Pin the Tail on the Donkey” using a picture of your Ex.
Think outside the box by symbolically burning wedding dresses or shredding other sentimental items to mark your fresh start. As you plan your activities, reflect on how you like to indulge and have fun, then integrate those elements into your party. Ultimately, the key is to enjoy yourself and embrace your authentic self.
Inviting Your Ex
Remember, this party is about celebrating your journey, so the decision to invite your ex depends on your comfort level and personal preference. If you and your Ex parted on amicable terms and maintain a friendship, inviting them may feel natural and comfortable. In fact, some couples choose to co-host their divorce party as a symbolic gesture of closure and mutual respect, acknowledging the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. However, if the idea of inviting your ex feels awkward or uncomfortable, it’s perfectly acceptable to focus solely on surrounding yourself with supportive and uplifting people who are there to celebrate you.
Conclusion
Navigating the divorce process can be one of life’s toughest challenges. It’s normal to feel lost and disconnected from yourself amidst the turmoil. While a divorce party won’t magically fix everything or erase the pain, it can offer a welcome distraction and a chance to reconnect with the single version of yourself. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family during this time can provide much-needed comfort and camaraderie.
Embrace the party planning process as a way to focus on something positive and uplifting. Choose a venue that speaks to your interests and let your creativity shine through in the decorations. Invite those who genuinely care about your well-being and are there to uplift you. Remember, this is your opportunity to have some fun and celebrate the beginning of a new chapter. You don’t have to face this journey alone. Perhaps you spent your marriage prioritizing someone else’s needs; now, it’s time to prioritize yourself. Use this moment as a chance to honor your strength, empower yourself, and wholeheartedly embrace the road ahead.
NOTES
Teresa is a third-year law student in Chicago committed to advocating and supporting survivors of gender and power-based violence. With a longstanding interest in family law, she aspires to pursue a career in this field after graduation. Her goal is to create a meaningful impact by being a voice for those who may struggle to find their own, providing the necessary support and empowerment they need to navigate the legal system and achieve justice.
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*We support same-sex marriages. For the sake of simplicity in this article, however, we refer to your spouse as your “husband” or a “he.”
