Gone are the days of muddling through divorce alone, stringing together information, crossing your fingers and hoping it’s going to turn out okay. More and more people are seeking a guided and thoughtful approach to the dissolution of their relationships.
We’ve been shouting it from the rooftops . . . we’ve been whispering it in peoples’ ears:
No one has to go through divorce alone and ashamed when resources exist that provide support and education for rebuilding your life.
Thank you, Financial Times, for talking about us and “divorce coaching,” and to your two million readers.
As an institution and legal proceeding, divorce has a complicated history, and changes to the process have been notoriously slow. In the United States alone, it’s taken 41 years for all fifty states to offer a “no-fault” divorce option. California led the movement in 1969 but it wasn’t until 2010 that the last state, New York, followed suit. Prior to this, couples were forced to sue one another for wrongdoing – for very specific and awful reasons in order to exit a marriage. Today, we are finally in a more liberalized place where we can all agree that it’s often not just one person’s fault, and that no one should be forced to stay in an unhappy union.
Thanks to increasing attention in the media (The New York Times and Porter Magazine) newer divorce resources are coming to the forefront, and the public is learning that the traditional method — meeting with just one lawyer to navigate the entire divorce process — is increasingly dated and not necessarily the best approach. In her piece, “Ready to Shake Up the Break Up Blues,” FT reporter Emma Jacobs discusses divorce coaching in particular as a means to selecting the right kind of legal counsel and for coping with the myriad of issues that come along with this major life change.
Dubbing divorce coaching “a new industry dedicated to helping husbands or wives navigate their way out of marriage,” Jacobs highlights some of the unique challenges that face those divorcing. There is the need for enormous decision making, and yet people are often “paralyzed by the immensity of the task ahead, coming as it does at an emotional time;” while there are those who “feel concerned that they will not cope without a spouse.” There are the financial questions and long-term implications of decisions that many people don’t understand. There is the family unit at question. How will they tell their kids things are going to change?
It’s true, divorce is complicated. Too much is happening at once. There is the complex legal process to navigate, practical and logistical problems to be solved, financial information to be sorted out – not to mention the whole picture is saturated with painfully mixed emotions, heartache, and loss.
Having struggled with our own divorces as isolated women, we at SAS think this process is more than one person should try to handle. For this reason we created services that center on coaching and a Partnered Divorce. When you are in crisis and emotionally charged, we know it’s critical to have someone who can act as a mentor, an advisor, a resource, and as a safety net during this tumultuous time. This is a process that requires very important decisions with serious long-term consequences. Yet, if you ask someone who is going through a divorce right now if he/she feels able to make sound decisions, you will hear a decided “no” in response. A Partnered Divorce approach ensures that a client has someone by her side to bring perspective, clarity, cost awareness, and objectivity to the situation. So anchored, she can begin to make informed decisions that will help her take control and rebuild her life.
To read the full article, “Ready to Shake Up the Break Up Blues,” you may visit the Financial Times here. Please note a subscription may be required.
Since 2012, SAS for Women is entirely dedicated to the unexpected challenges women face while considering a divorce and navigating the divorce experience and its confusing afterward. SAS offers women six FREE months of email coaching, action plans, checklists and support strategies for you, and your future. Join our tribe and stay connected.