40 Inspirational Divorce Quotes to Make You Feel Less Alone
At any given time along this path of change, you might be feeling scared, confused, angry, sad, and lonely. You might be feelinged-out, numb. And all those plucky words of chin-up encouragement, or flat-lining platitudes friends and family continue to proffer are falling on your deaf and numb and pained ears.
Other times our reaction to another person’s words can take us by surprise. We might find ourselves struck by a truth we feel so deeply, so innately, that we could never express it in words. Great writers make us feel like that. Their words could be our own—they so closely resemble what we think and feel. Such writers give us a voice when we can’t trust ourselves. They make us feel seen and less alone
Below are 40 divorce quotes from inspirational women that will make you feel just that: less alone. If you find a quote that makes you vibe, consider printing and hanging it somewhere you’ll see it every day.
You are not alone. Everyone needs help dealing with divorce and especially, divorce recovery (do you know what “healed” even looks like?) We’ve been there, in that place of not knowing what you don’t know.
Without further ado, here are 40 divorce quotes that you can read on dark days when you need a little camaraderie and inspiration:
2. “You never really know a man until you have divorced him.”
—Zsa Zsa Gabor
3. “There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”
— C. Joybell C.
4. “I’d rather regret the things I’ve done than regret the things I haven’t done.”
— Lucille Ball
5. “When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at least, begun to.”
— Helen Rowland
6. “Divorce isn’t the child’s fault. Don’t say anything unkind about your ex to the child, because you’re really just hurting the child.”
— Valerie Bertinelli
7. “I wanted to turn my divorce into a positive. What if I didn’t blame the other person for anything, and held myself 100 percent accountable? What if I checked my own s— at the door and put my children first? And reminded myself about the things about my ex-husband that I love, and fostered the friendship?”
— Gwyneth Paltrow
9. “Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you.”
— Rupi Kaur
10. “Divorce isn’t such a tragedy. A tragedy’s staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce.”
― Jennifer Weiner
11. “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping it will transform into a door.”
— Coco Chanel
12. “It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
13. “Success is its own reward, but failure is a great teacher too, and not to be feared.”
— Sonia Sotomayor
14. “I was a high-functioning depressive, seemingly pulled together and buttoned down. But inside deep, I was numb and mute. Now on the other side of divorce, I know that was me fragmented and doing my best to cope. But my body knew.”
— Liza Caldwell, SAS for Women Cofounder
15. “It always gets worse before it can get better. But it will get better. Like everything else, and like our past struggles, at some point we win, but before that win, there’s always that loss that spurs us on.”
— Dolores Huerta
16. “When people divorce, it’s always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.”
18. “Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”
— Toni Morrison
19. “Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.”
20. “I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.”
21. “I think that men were allowed to write about their marriages falling apart, but you weren’t quite supposed to if you were a woman. You were just supposed to curl up into a ball and move to Connecticut. But you know, it didn’t really matter because, as I said, I knew what the book was. It’s a funny book, and I was very happy that it sold a lot of copies.”
– Nora Ephron on her book, Heartburn
22. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
— Deborah Reber
23. “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.”
— Carol Burnett
24. “Don’t be afraid. Be focused. Be determined. Be hopeful. Be empowered.”
— Michelle Obama
26. “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
— Maya Angelou
27. “Perhaps sometimes reminding ourselves that we do have a choice makes it easier to pick the harder one.”
— Eva Melusine Thieme
28. “Don’t have regrets. You can learn something from every experience.”
— Ellen Degeneres
29. “I learned that it would take more than just the black and white steps of getting divorced, or even finding a lawyer. It would take NOT just facing my fears. It would take walking into my fears — with each step making me bolder and less ashamed, with each step giving me courage.”
— Liza Caldwell, SAS for Women Cofounder
30. “Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert
31. “The process of discovering with somebody that you love that you don’t work is so painful.”
32. “It was a long time in the making, my divorce. One day became less special than the [one before], and pretty soon we ceased all conversation. It is a sad day when you have nothing left to say.”
33. “Above all be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”
— Nora Ephron
34. “The good thing about getting divorced young—if there is a good thing—is that it makes you realize there’s no schedule in life. It blasts you wide open and frees you to be honest with yourself.”
35. “When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be towards others.”
— Eda LeShan
36. “There’s no pain or failure like going through a divorce.”
37. “It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”
— Lena Horne
39.“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”
— Carrie Fisher
40. “I used to hope that you’d bring me flowers. Now I plant my own.”
— Rachel Wolchin
Is there a divorce quote that’s helped you get through your divorce? Comment below to share. We could all use a little inspiration and encouragement.
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“Divorce can be on your terms.” – SAS for Women
I think I am in love with these words
thank you for sharing
Thank you for writing, Shivangi. We all need words and people for inspiration!
“You know it’s time to call it quits when you’re about to drown, attempting to hold both of you above the water. You realize that you may not be able to save the marriage, but at least you can save yourself.”
Wonderful quote, Gretchen. Is it yours? Thank you for sharing with us!
You are so right. I’m finally letting go after 37 years of treading water…I’m so tired.
What do you do
When he doesn’t love you anymore
Act like a lady
Stay calm and collected
Talk to the lawyers,
Kids, family, friends
Explain it’s just the way it goes?
No fault, no blame
Just the end of an
I want to cry
I want to run
I want to shake sense into him
I want him to remember
All the sweetness
The soft touches
The loving words
The hard times
What it took to get here
The cherished moments
When he loved
Me so much he
Wouldn’t leave my side
I want to convince him
I’m his person
But I know it’s not right anymore
I know we can never come back
And the hurt is crippling
And I can’t help but wonder why
I saw this coming
The affection dwindles
The sweet words are replaced with
It makes you forget for a moment what is happening in front of our eyes.
Laying in this place,
Where we planned to spend
Won’t let me sleep
Won’t let me have a moments rest
My head aches from
My eyes swollen and
Sting and burn
I hear him snoring
Does he finally have peace?
Knowing I’ll be gone soon
Knowing it’s done
Will he miss dinner
With all of us around the table
The mornings when I would hold him close and kiss his shoulder
When he would rub my skin
When we would walk the dogs on our adventures
All the I love yous?
I have behaved badly
Not like I would have wanted to had I known this was coming
I have said hurtful things
But my heart feels like it has been ripped out
You said I don’t trust you
Yet the person I trusted the most
To always love me
Simply doesn’t, well not in the same way.
I know it will be ok
I know I need time
But the kind of love that makes you care this much
Isn’t easy to find.
Everything I feel you said in words. Thank you
“yet the person I trusted the most to always love me, simply doesn’t, well not in the same way.”
Thank you for saying what I am feeling… Married for 5 years and w a 6 months old baby… contemplating a divorce and I know the roads ahead won’t be easy…
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” A quote I found on Pinterest and pinned to my board labeled “Strength for Today”
He told me he wanted a divorce on the night of our 7th wedding anniversary… I wondered why he was so cold all day, meanwhile I spent the entire night before hand crafting a surprise gift for him to wake up to… That night he said why should we be fake for one day… We still sleep in the same bed… We’ve even made… I guess not “love” is it? Mind you I’ve told him I wanted a divorce, but nothing ever came of it. But now HE wants it, so here we are. Looking for new homes apart, together. What a painful mindf…k this has been.
I love how you mentioned that we are not alone in the process of divorce and I can seek help whenever I find it hard. My husband and I have two kids and while I’m okay with him walking out of the relationship, I need to ensure that he’ll be providing financial support for our kids.
In my opinion, this is one of the best quotes I have ever heard about divorce: “Perhaps sometimes reminding ourselves that we do have a choice makes it easier to pick the harder one.” And how nice to understand that in our country we have the opportunity to divorce in contrast to Muslim countries. Even though divorce is not an easy thing, it can take a long time, as in New York. But the most important thing is that there is an opportunity.
The quote that has been resonating with me the most as I begin the process of divorce with my soon to be ex husband is …
“The pain of staying is permanent. The pain of leaving is temporary.”
I can’t figure out who said it tho, I heard it from another gal going through divorce who had read the quote somewhere.